Why Your Resolutions Fail….And How To Fix Them

                  Why your resolutions fail…..and how to fix them.


So here we are, approaching the second week of January 2018 and quickly the question turns to the inevitable…..

“How are your resolutions going???”

Silence…
Ummmmmmm…
Yeah, about that…

And that is if you even took the energy to “make resolutions” in the first place.

 

At this point the word “Resolutions”, when used around the holiday season, almost instantly conjures up a negative connotation, as if we are just expecting to fail at whatever it is we deem important enough to change. How did this happen and more importantly, what can we do to change the tide and make significant changes in our habits?

Let’s start by discussing the typical resolution. You know, the one you are chatting about with friends at 12:34am on New Year’s Night after the ball has dropped, in between your 3rd and 4th cocktail, when the excitement has worn off and you’d really rather be in bed. Yeah, those.

Typically these resolutions are vague ideas or concepts, like “I want to lose weight” or “I want to eat healthier” or my personal favorite, “I want to get fit this year!” (what does that even mean?). Clearly these ideas, from being so vague, have no endpoint or solid deadline. This means there is no sense of urgency, no pressure. If you fail, which you will, there really is no repercussion.

“I haven’t started yet, but I will once everything is back to normal”…….ok, sure.

If these ideas are unclear and have no deadline, they really can’t be measured in any way either. In my favorite example (done by super scientific-y studies), “I just want to get fit”, there is no endpoint and no way to measure actual progress. So how do you know if what you are doing to achieve this goal or resolution is actually working at all? If you are even doing something in the first place.

I think we’ve clearly defined what a resolution currently means to most people and the issues associated with it.
Now let’s focus on rethinking this idea and what we can do to fix it. Dare I say, resolve the issue……see what I did there?….

(and FYI we can start this any time, not just January 1st, the first of the month, a Monday…..Just start now, if it is that important to you.)

 

First, let’s start but simply changing words. Instead of Resolutions, why don’t we start using the word Target, instead.

If I say the word Target to you, what might be the first image that comes to mind? Hopefully, a big red bullseye is in your mind (at least that’s what the store’s marketing team hopes, as well). By using the word Target, you have a visual endpoint, something to work towards, something very specific you are trying to achieve and, not to be overlooked, it narrows your focus. This leads in perfectly to how we are going to set up your new life Targets.

 

Now we start the process of refining our Targets by writing them down and being as specific as possible.

“I want to lose weight” turns into “I want to lose 20lbs”

“I want to eat healthier” turns into “I want to eat 3-4 servings of fresh veggies per day”
“I want to be fit” turns into “I want to run a 5k race every 3 months, after never racing previously”….and yes, there is MUCH more to being “fit” and “healthy” than being able to run or lift weights or eating veggies, but that is another article all in itself.

Now that we have written down specific Targets, we have solved two of our three issues with resolutions. This exercise has:
1) Narrowed our focus.
2) Can be measured.
If you eat 1 serving of veggies per day, but your Target is 3-4 we know there is still work to do to reach our Target and we can adjust accordingly.

Now we add in the uncomfortable part. Deadlines.
This is where most people start to squirm, so feel free to wiggle in your chair a little bit.
Adding a deadline creates a sense of urgency. You MUST do said Target before said Target date, or else. It forces you to take action.

“I want to lose 20lbs” turns into “I want to lose 20lbs in 100 days”
“I want to eat 3-4 servings of veggies a day” turns into “I want to establish the eating habit of 3-4 servings of veggies a day within the next month”
“I want to run a 5k race every 3 months” turns into “I want to run my first 5k in 90 days”

This forces you to take action and set up a plan of action. If you want to lose 20lbs in 100 days, do you have a plan in place to lose 1-2lbs in 7 days? If not, that would probably be a great place to start.

So now our Targets are written down, pinpoint specific and have an honest,realistic deadline. Unfortunately, this still won’t work out for most people.

The major point that we have yet to discuss is your why. Why is this Target important to you? When we can find out the true why behind what you want to accomplish, you can take that why and keep it in your pocket, pulling it out when the plan gets rocky.

And it will.

This isn’t going to be all sunshine and roses. Life just isn’t that way and we all know it. So the Why is going to guide you through those dark times, when you need help, when you feel like quitting, when you question why you even started.

“I want to lose 20lbs in 100 days to be an inspiration to my children”
“I want to improve my nutrition habits so my entire family makes better eating choices”
“I want to run a 5k every 3 months in memory of my loved one who passed away from Cancer”

I don’t think I have to go into detail as to why the statements above are worlds more powerful than the statements we opened the reading with. Find your why. You may have to dig a bit deeper than is normally comfortable, but this is part of the change process. It will serve you almost as well as it will serve those whom you inspire.

To summarize our new outlook on Targets, the artist formerly known as Resolutions, they are:

• Written down- Look at them every single day. Make them the background of your phone, screen saver on your desktop, you get the idea.
• Specific- Number of pounds lost. Amount of weight you want to squat. Tons of broccoli per day. This allows for measurable progress and laser focus.
• Have a deadline- Make it realistic, but challenging. Take action NOW and build a short-term plan to reach the long-term Target.
• Tied into your Why- What will happen when you achieve this Target? How will you feel? How will it impact others around you? Think about that. It will guide you through the dark times.

 

This change in thinking is by no means the end all, be all of Targetting or goal setting or whatever term you choose to call it by, however, if these methods are put into place and monitored on a daily basis, I can promise a much better outcome. Much better than whatever happens after the 4th cocktail at 12:34am on New Year’s.

 

By Patrick Murphy